I adapted by becoming an observer
I was born into a family of artists on both sides: painters, writers, dancers, musicians and actors. When I was four years old my mother moved my father and me from Valencia, Spain, to Irvine, California, where she obtained a master's degree in theatre arts. Being transplanted abruptly and having my parents' marriage soon fall apart undoubtedly shaped me: I no longer identified with a single culture; nor with a single family unit; nor with anything conventional. I adapted by becoming an observer, specifically, an observer from the wings of a stage. Watching my mother move in and out of different characters, costumes, eras, and plots was a great teacher, and I came to appreciate how language, story and design are used to describe the human condition so artfully.
Fast-forward many, many years and I return to Valencia to attend art school, and then Pasadena to attend more art school, and eventually I meet David, the young actor whose role it is to play my mother's son-in-law. Ours was a case of life imitating art. We knew pretty instantly we were destined for one another, so we did what destined people do: date, get engaged, find stable jobs, get married, have kids.
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In 2005 we were ecstatic to learn I was pregnant with a son. However, in a routine ultrasound we learned something was off. On May 17, 2006, Charlie was born with a rare disease in which his lungs simply stopped developing in utero. He languished on a ventilator for one month until dying peacefully in my arms. One year later I became pregnant with twins and both succumbed to the same deadly disease.
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What life experiences define us as artists? Better yet, what makes us able to explore the most profound parts of ourselves, and then have the courage to share them?
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Our story ends happily. David and I have two healthy daughters we adore. There is something humbling yet about being that tethered to loss, and it changes you completely and forever.​
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I'll be plain here. I haven't really been able to create as freely since. I think about painting all the time, it's a constant burrowing in my chest and at the center of my forehead. Whether I was born an artist or became one through exposure, it is an intrinsic part of me that I would like to find the courage to fully and unapologetically unleash. That would be my greatest wish outside of keeping my family healthy and happy.
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Thank you for your time to look at my work and read our story--I genuinely appreciate it.
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